She always turns the tables and plays tricks to not feel the guilt about what she is doing, or more like what she might be up to. I have had people like her in my life before, but not in so many years. I mean, I am a young girl, with a pretty decently up attitude, but I mean like oh gohhwhwhwhwd, K-mohn already! Be honest with me. We have been through so much in such a short time, or maybe it has been a long time, but then again I am somewhat young and will always be learning more about people as I go through life.
Maybe I am just too sensitive. Maybe when I speak, they can't really HEAR me. Or maybe it is that they are not really LISTENING to me. I dunno, but I do realize that tonight was terrible and all of the girls were being ultra-ROOOOD!
I may have lost a few friends tonight, but my one friend, being a point for loss, will be a sore wound to heal over a long period of time. I will be ok, I always am. But right now I wish I still had my old FUZZY, the stuffed bunny-bear. He is blue and light colors and I have him back at my parents, in the attic with my old clothes and toys and possessions.
Maybe I need to be on my own. Maybe I need more time alone or with good friends.
I am hurt and angry! Why can people be like this. How can they be so confused. I think people are not, but some do not want to feel the guilt of letting others down, so instead they say they are confused in hopes the other person will do the job of LEAVING or breaking up or anything.
I know that I did it with the last relationship I was in.
YES, Danielle was ACTUALLY in a real relationship with a human!
It feels good to write, maybe I should get back to my craft.
DJing may be fun at the two nights with Vlad, but this is not what I will do with my life. I want to grow and experience. I want to see the world and taste it and smell it and everything! I want to be an old woman who sits on her rocking chair and can always have a new story for her children, grandchildren and their kids as well as everyone else who comes my way!
I may have to either start a novel soon or write lots more within this journal.